Who are these people who think a holiday wedding is a great idea? I get the concept. The idea is “Oh, they’ll have an extra day off so it’s a great weekend to have our wedding!” You couldn't be more wrong. For one thing, I work every day. When Labor Day or whatever rolls around, I’m looking forward to that three days off so I can chill at home, clean up the house and get drunk at my leisure. I wouldn’t even travel to a preferred destination on these weekends, let alone your wedding in Iowa City. When I’m going on vacation, I would rather use vacation time and make another week of work shorter, rather than wasting my few, precious, shortened holiday weeks.
Beyond that, there is the fact that everybody and their mother is traveling. That makes it a) a huge pain in the ass at the airport (because, unlike me, many stupid people like to use that three days to squeeze in an out of town trip) and b) twice as expensive to travel, because hotels and airlines jack up the rates on holiday weekends.
Now an even bigger asshole is the person who has the New Year’s Eve wedding. If this is you, you are an asshole, no way around it.
Your thinking: “Oh man, this will be so great! All of our friends can spend New Year’s together and celebrate our marriage! This will be a special memory for everyone!”
The truth: Your friends want to spend NYE with their own groups of friends, not watching your little nephew Caleb doing the Electric Slide. Get over yourself.
Wow! Thanks so much for inviting me to this Memorial Day weekend wedding. I can't believe how uncrowded this airport is! Maybe next year, you can just mail me a bag of shit!
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