Fuck You and Your Stroller

Are these your kids? If so, you are a fucking asshole. These double-wide strollers are one of the most assholish things on the planet, right up there with the Ford Expedition.

This is the equivalent of me linking arms with someone else and barreling down the sidewalk, or (if we're really feeling like assholes) through a crowded store.

I hear you, "I've got two kids." Well, get one of those back to back doubles, not this dickhead mobile. Also, one of the kids always looks old enough to walk on their own. Maybe this is why kids are so fucking fat nowadays - they ride in a stroller until age 14. maybe if your kid walked sometimes, she wouldn't look like Precious.

You can usually find these strollers attached to two asshole suburbanite parents, who have decided to bring the whole family out to shop the day after Thanksgiving.